Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hot Obits (Mar 1, 2007)


Man with Anna Nicole Smith fetish feels guilty about indulging his fetish after her death.
Story continued on page A7.

Cry Baby (Feb. 8, 2007)


Diaper-loving hubby acts like selfish baby.
Dry your tears, then read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Advice 101 (Jan. 25, 2007)


The column space is auctioned off for charity. But Dan gives the guest reviewer some advice on how to be a good advice columnist first.
It’s for a good cause. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Noble Purpose (Jan. 18, 2007)


Did alcohol turn a straight boy gay?
Loosen up. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Cuckhold’s Nest (Dec. 7. 2006)


Man begs “Fuck my wife, please!”
Here’s your “Rear Window.” Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Pizza Face (Nov. 23, 2006)


Woman has a zit-popping fetish.
Hot fresh pizza, delivered right here! Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

FIxer Upper (Sept. 28, 2006)


Woman thinks man could use a little work.
Advice for cleaning up your act. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Cheater (Sept. 7, 2006)


Unapologetic skank wonders why she can’t stop cheating.
Find out why. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Lesbian Marriage Kit (Aug. 31, 2006)


In California, it turns out, it’s same-sex marriage is illegal unless one of the partners has had a sex change, and is therefore legally the opposite sex. This little kit can help you game the system without the expensive and trouble of a sex-change.
See? Simple. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Drunk Advice (Aug. 16, 2006)


Dan waxes philosophical on giving advice while drunk.
Read this sobering column. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Twinkie Bears (July 6, 2006)


Old bears who love sweet young things.
What’s the shelf-life on something like that? Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Cat Butt (June 15, 2006)


Hairy women, hot or not? Discuss.
Trot the razor’s edge. Read the original letter and Savage’s response, which is a continued dialogue from the previous week.

Pre-Pregnant (May 25, 2006)


Bush-era (ah, feels so good to say that in the past tense) health doctrine indicated that all women of child-bearing age should consider themselves “pre-pregnant.”
Read the original letter (way at the bottom of the column) and Savage’s response.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Pledge Protection (May 18, 2006)


Abstinence vows by teens tend to be about 50% effective.
Get the stats here. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Mothers Milk (May 4, 2006)


Woman seeks way to earn extra money.
Thirsty for more info? Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Bad for the Gander (Apr. 24, 2006)


After pledging themselves to an open relationship, a woman finds that her boyfriend resents her behavior despite having his own series of affairs.
What to do Dan? Tell us. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

ABC XXX (Apr. 17, 2006)


Ex-girlfriend requests copy of homemade porn vid created when both partners were underage. Dan advises against giving it up, since it could still be used in a court of law to prosecute for underage sex.
Keepin’ it legal. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Genius Pills (Feb. 23, 2006)


Dan declaims against bogus herbal pills.
As seen on TV. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

R U Nrml? (Feb. 9, 2006)


One man’s piss-soaked gay orgy is another man’s straight sex. Who’s to say what’s normal?
Another soiled column here. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Not Biting (Feb. 2, 2006)


A woman checks out other fish in the sea after a 7 year relationship.
Drop in a line here.

Guy Pie (Nov. 10, 2005)


Gay guy seeks man with vagina.
Do you like pie? Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Diet Pig (Nov. 3, 2005)


A woman is sexually repulsed by her clinically obese husband.
The Savage diet! Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Laughing Dom (Oct. 18, 2005)


Man says “spank me I’ve been a bad boy.” Woman tries to refrain from laughing. Dan says “go ahead and laugh… but then spank him.”
All the laughs that are fit to print. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Gay Debate (Sept. 29, 2005)


When faced with the argument that gay marriage will lead to polygamy (etc) based on the libertarian idea that everyone should be free do do as s/he chooses. Wrong says Dan.
Start your own debate. The original letter and Savage’s response is here.

Bunny Bondage (Aug 29, 2005)


Man sees bondage image as consensual. Girlfriend sees it as violent. Perhaps it is in the eye of the beholder?
See, it’s a bunny. So it’s cute. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Iron Lung (Aug 22, 2005)


Imaginary porn for smoking fetishists.
Smokin’ hot! Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Horse Size (Aug 11, 2005)


Man reportedly dies after having sex with a horse. Or rather, the horse having sex with him.
Be seduced by your repulsion. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Cat and mouse (Nov 27, 2003)


Woman has other plans for her tampon.
Dirtier than you might guess. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Long Necks (Oct 9, 2003)


What you might call self-fulfillment is realized by a flexible young man.
Is that a superpower? Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Can Collectors (July 10, 2003)


Dan suggests ways for cash-strapped young lovers to afford birth control.

100% non-recycled material. Read the original letter and Savage’s response.

Cold Turkey (May 8. 2003)


Young siblings are addicted to their incestuous relationship.
Go cold turkey sez Dan! Read the original letter and Savage’s response here.

BONUS ROUND


This wasn’t for Savage Love, but rather for a story that ran in the Baltimore City Paper about fan fiction: Stories written with well-known characters from pop culture, which often incorporate sexual fantasies.

I believe this is the story here.

Btw, that’s a condom on his talon.

Read up (May 1, 2003)


Advice 101 - For closeted gay teens.
The original letter is here. Read up.

Snowball (Apr 24, 2003)


Boyfriend fears making expressions of gratitude after oral sex. Rinse, then spit. Then read the original letter and Savage’s response here.

Protest Bear (Feb 13, 2003)


A bad childhood is no excuse for bad behavior as an adult.
Don’t be an Asshole. Read the original here.

Exchange (Nov 14, 2002)


All right, this is the end beautiful friend. The way-back machine stops here. I illustrated the column another year or two before this. But this is all you get here. Try the Stranger archives if you wish to excavate further.

This week’s installment finds Dan offering Canadians our Christian Fundamentalists in exchange for their Quebecois radicals.

Do I hear a second on that offer? . Read the original column here.